Tag: jokes
group name: happyplace
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March 11, 2007 07:46 PM EDT --
If College Students Wrote The Bible
The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning -- cold.
The Ten Commandments would actually be only five -- double-spaced and written in a large font.
A . . . more
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June 03, 2007 02:17 AM EDT --
Funny e-mail
Two priests were riding very fast on a motorcycle
Two priests were riding very fast on a motorcycle. They were promptly stopped by a policeman who said, "What do you think you . . . more
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December 07, 2007 02:27 PM EST --
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor....
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows . . . more
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December 31, 2006 02:51 PM EST --
Politically Correct
Differently-brained -- stupid
Folically independent -- bald
Musically delayed -- tone deaf
Genetically discriminating -- racist
Codependent . . . more
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January 05, 2007 02:34 PM EST --
Blonde's Year in Review.
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit . . . more
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June 05, 2007 02:27 AM EDT --
funny e-mail
These are responses you may use when caught sleeping on the job:
"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described . . . more
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February 25, 2008 12:46 PM EST --
Brain Dysfunction
The only time she's not complaining is when she's asleep. ************************************************************************** Sharon: What are the only . . . more
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April 28, 2007 02:39 PM EDT --
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it!" Yogi Berra
**********************************************************
"Nobody comes here any more because it's too crowded." . . . more
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September 22, 2007 01:25 PM EDT --
LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE
1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of . . . more
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June 11, 2007 02:37 PM EDT --
These laws came from an anonymous e-mail.
Laws of Life
Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee. . . . more
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June 13, 2007 09:11 AM EDT --
This is another anonymous e-mail that was forwarded to me.
Subject: SENIORS UNDER ATTACK
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Subject: SENIORS UNDER ATTACK
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THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY! . . . more
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March 11, 2007 07:28 PM EDT --
A Prayer Upon Waking
Dear God, so far today, I've done all right. I haven't gossiped, and I haven't lost my temper.
I haven't been grumpy, nasty or selfish, and I'm really glad of . . . more
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March 11, 2007 07:43 PM EDT --
Hymns for Her
One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever . . . more
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August 14, 2007 01:01 PM EDT --
Bragging
My son is Inmate of the Month at the state prison.
I used to go to church religiously.
My daughter is Patient of the Month at the state mental . . . more
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June 24, 2007 11:57 AM EDT --
Waking Up for Church
One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going."
"Why not?" she . . . more
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July 20, 2007 01:58 PM EDT --
The Best Way to Pray
A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby. "Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray," the . . . more
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January 04, 2007 02:42 PM EST --
Top 10 things to say when caught sleeping at your desk:
10. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."
9. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about . . . more
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January 02, 2007 01:59 PM EST --
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
...I had amnesia once -- or twice.
...I went to San Francisco . I found . . . more
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May 17, 2007 07:39 AM EDT --
God is Watching
Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, "Take only one, God is watching." . . . more
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April 05, 2008 12:29 PM EDT --
George Carlin on aging!
(Absolutely Brilliant)
George Carlin's Views on Aging
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? . . . more
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